One of you is ready to move on, the other is ready to work on the relationship.
You're not sure how to overcome these differing feelings and figure out how to move forward in a way that is right for you both.
What is discernment counseling?
Discernment counseling is a counseling option that is designed for couples where one is "leaning out" of the relationship and one is "leaning in."
This is for couples who are stuck in the paralysis of relationship indecision. Both couples must be open to considering the three possible outcomes of the process: divorce, a continued relationship as-is, or a commitment to couples counseling.
Discernment Counseling is NOT traditional couples therapy. The sole purpose of the discernment process is to help you and your partner determine the best path and next steps for your relationship. These sessions will not include typical couples therapy interventions but rather will focus on helping you feel confident in what comes next.
Discernment counseling in Minnesota is right for you if:
One partner in the relationship is ready to separate, divorce, or leave while the other wants to make the relationship work
You’re unsure of how to move forward or where to go from here
You have a lot of love for your partner, but you’re not sure if you can find your way back to the way things were before
You need clarity on the next steps for your relationship—whether those steps include the two of you together or apart
You’re ready to:
Gain clarity on the next steps for your relationship
Take those next steps, whatever they may be, with care and respect
Gain a full understanding of what’s best for your family
Hey, I'm Nicolle!
I'm a sex & couples therapist in Minnesota.
I know relationship ambiguity is stressful, scary, and lonely. I am dedicated to helping you and your partner communicate effectively about your feelings and determine what is best for you both moving forward. You don't have to do this alone and you deserve to have someone in your corner helping you determine the best path forward for you both.
To learn more about if working with me is right for you, learn more about me here. Learn about my rates here.
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Frequently Asked Questions
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Discernment counseling is designed to be a very short-term process. Because we are working to make a single decision—”are we willing to work through our conflicts as they are now?”—the total time commitment for discernment counseling is no more than 5 sessions.
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Yes. In our experience, a couple “fated” to divorce can still utilize discernment counseling. Not only does it help each couple explain the reasons behind their emotions related to the split, but it allows a couple to set a constructive tone for their future apart (especially important with shared custody of children).
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Discernment counseling lasts for fewer sessions, is intended for couples where one partner is unsure about therapy and/or the future of the relationship, and is assessment-based vs. skills and communication improvement-based.